dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
