tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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