I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
