: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
