he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize