I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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