belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
