drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
