thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
