What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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