it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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