I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
