that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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