He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
