this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My feet surprised me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
