It's Friday. Sex?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
