tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
