his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
