this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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