Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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