i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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