Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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