Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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