i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
