you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
