I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
