you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
