More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Houston, we have a squirter
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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