Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
3 2 1 whiskey
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
