He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
