I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize