After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize