ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
