from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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