K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
