How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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