i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
