just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
