I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize