i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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