I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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