If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
