think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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