you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
this will be a night to untag.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
