never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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