she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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