when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
