I'm gonna have a badass scar
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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