Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
