If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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