So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
