it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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