dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
