even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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