so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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