im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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