2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
