Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
