Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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