Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
