i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
